I am proud to announce the arrival of my beautiful baby boy! Zachary Michael is 19 days old right now and doing great. The birth was a rough one that ended in an emergency C Section and Zach having a partially collapsed lung. After some time in the NICU and my time recovering in a different area in the hospital we are both home safe and sound.
My most recent challenge has been feeding him, he was in the NICU and I couldn’t feed him for a day or two because he was intubated. Now he HATES breastfeeding! He wails bloody murder when I try to feed him. What has worked is feeding him breast milk in a bottle and supplementing with formula. I have tried working with a lactation consultant, reading books, and talking to friends that have babies. Finally, after talking to an old friend of mine tonight, I have decided that your ability to breast feed should not determine your value as a Mother. Not a huge revelation by any means but when you are flooded with information and pressure from all angles to breast feed you really start to judge your worth by whether or not you get your baby to "latch on". Forget latching on; how about not cry themselves into not breathing! Not a single book will tell you how to even pump properly to help give your baby breast milk (which does have amazing benefits for your baby) so you can give them the best to your ability and NO ONE will tell you it’s ok to walk away. The underbelly of breast feeding has come back to attack again but now I can’t use a snarky remark to get my way out of it. I am a little concerned that our culture has decided it’s acceptable to make women feel bad about the act of breast feeding. What happened to supporting and lifting up our fellow women? Creating a supporting family of women that can help each other out during a very stressful new life change, not look down on them when they don’t follow the normal patterns? Shame on you if you think its right to shove your ways onto others, I think you should really examine why you are doing that. I also think you might have some Mommy issues (pun, intended). I will continue to pump so I can get all those nutrients into my baby because I recognize that if you can produce it then you should use it. But to all those Mommies that have issues with breast feeding, yes try to talk to a lactation consultant, read books and try your best to breastfeed however, if it isn’t working and you are just making yourself and your baby miserable do what you need to do. Breastfeed, use formula or do both. And as my friend told me tonight, "More power to you if you are determined, but if it isn't happening, forgive yourself and move on without guilt, okay?"
I am in the same exact boat...Landon was born a big baby (9.5 pounds) and they had to watch his weight and glucose closely and he wasn't eating enough so eventually we had to give him formula or he would have to go on an IV in the NICU. He latched really well from the minute he was with me after birth, but once he got on that bottle with formula he hated breast feeding (he luckily still loved breast milk, but hated not getting it from a bottle). The lactation consultants, nurses, and everyone tried everything but nothing worked. Eventually I just gave up and went to pumping and giving formula when it wasn't enough. It's frustrating because it would be sooo much easier if he could just breast feed , and formula is so expensive! However, you are so right - being able to breastfeed or not doesn't make you any worse or better of a mother! Society puts so much pressure on us for sure, and there are plenty of mothers that aren't able to and they shouldn't feel bad because of it!
ReplyDeleteBy the way - this is such an amazing quote, what a great friend! "More power to you if you are determined, but if it isn't happening, forgive yourself and move on without guilt, okay?"
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